Retro Cycling Vintage

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He's tall
He's right
He rides a three wheel bike
DAVID DUFFIELD
DAVID DUFFIELD

If you've been reading the buzz about David Duffield and wondering who he really is or what he sounds like we're going to tell you - He's like your favourite uncle. On three wheels. With a pocket full of French cheese. And a mini cooper parked around the corner.

If you want to know what he sounds like... just take a listen to this
David Duffield Sean kelly Maurizio Fondriest

David Duffield, Maurizio Fondriest, Moreno Argentin and Sean Kelly

continue reading...

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DAVID DUFFIELD 2002

Perhaps he's rushing to the loo! Get the toilet paper out! (on a fast ride by Lance, following a bad night of vomitting and diarrhea).

Sponsored by Alessio, makers of alloy wheels for your car. So if you want new alloy wheels for your clapped out Ford Escort that you've had for 15 years..

Mont Ventoux:-

Their aspirations melting in the sun just as the little bit of cheese is melting on Mike Smith's screen.

If I say the twilight of his career, no doubt his supporters will start throwing bricks at me.

Boy I'm the boss! Up you, I'm off!! I'm speechless!! (as Lance leaves Beloki on Ventoux).

The cool, calm, collected voice of Sean Kelly analysing the race there.

There's nothing but huge sparse bits of green up there.

Fascinating times lie ahead of us here on Mont Ventoux, with Lance Armstrong riding magnici…….

Lance Armstrong rewriting the history books here. (I know they all say it, but still!)

Like when Armstrong put his foot on the pad on the moon, saying,"one great strep".

The speedom has come in and interfered with our marvellous shot.

If I was riding here I'd need a pair of glasses to read what they just put up.

This rash Texan, who burst upon the scene and surprised a lot of people.

My French colleagues are going absolutely over the moon because this is the moonscape!

He (Virenque)was actually born in Castablanca, Morocco.

(Virenque comes to the finish) with polka dots all over him! (he is not wearing the jersey).

He (Virenque) had a few problems in the Festina problems.

Axel Merckx, a long, tall, gangling lad.

Americans, many millions of them, are turning into their televisions early in the morning.

Not one of the well-heeled, all singing, dancing teams.

Let's get the old abacus going.

He (Beloki) has lost a hatful, something like 1 minute and 60 seconds!

Here's a man (Botero) who has a university degree and and a rich father. He could easily have gone and got a nice simple job working in a bank but he likes riding his bike.

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DAVID DUFFIELD 2001…..

Josepi Beloki, following in the footsteps of Lance Indurain.

Air-conditioning wasn't invented when they built that hotel in 1821 - no, I'm exaggerating! (describing a hot night passed in a beautiful old hotel).

So, the river running through here, cooling air from it's hot and sticky day.

Mike's got all this information stashed in his head. The old grey cells were going click, click, click, and they wouldn't actually put themselves to pieces!

In the Tour of Italy, he either took his foot off the pedal or did the same thing.

(no context missing here!)

Pantani was like half a yard of popcorn! (reminiscing over riders' weights).

We were at the ad break, so you couldn't smell the barbeque going full tilt!

We would have no room to swing a cat…….I shouldn't let cats out of the bag!

He (a rider) looks a little young to be out of school.

Sean Kelly, the man who used to eat peat for breakfast!

Soloradathama (= solo ride in the mountains).

Wachashiza (= world championships in Zurich).

If you,re licking your lips at the prospect of a bunch sprint…I'm licking my lips at the swimming-pool inside the chateau. (an aerial view near the end of a flat stage).

I'm sure a lot of people when they get home will find their kids have snitched the sheets from the bed and put them up in the sky. (roadside banners).

A little bit of speculation flowing from the lips of Sean Kelly? Can I stick your neck out?

(Much pondering over how enormous a penny-farthing would need to be to get a big top gear)…in case you're wondering why they don't ride them anymore!

Hot:

From: Niall
Subject: Duffers

My favourite Duffieldism is when Dave get all euphoric and exclaims "THIS IS WHAT BIKE RACING IS ALL ABOUT"

Cheers, Niall

This is exactly the sort of thing that gets kids into cycling. Mad action on the screen and Duffield going crazy on the mic. Its got to have an effect in getting people into cyclesport somewhere. Well spotted Niall, keep 'em coming.

From: Alijosa , Singapore
Subject: duffield

Hello there I've had a chance of listening to cycling commentary in many languages and David Duffield beats them all. Name a person who can enterntain you for five or more hours during a long stage. Sure, others may be more knowledgable and proper but also oh so boring. And David...well, there's always something to talk about.

One of the Duffieldisms that you migt have forgotten to mention: "....and the proverbial has hit the fan" , probably meaning: ...and the action in a group of riders has started.

Thanks Alijosa for that one. How on earth do you manage to get to hear DD in Singapore? You're right of course - there is always something for DD to talk about. Granted it might sometimes be at the wrong time but there's always something to talk about!

From: Justi
Subject: Duff Duff

It always worries me when he says 'by the way...' because you know he's going off somewhere - usually something to do with food, while the race is reaching the most exciting point and Sean Kelly is saying 'Er, David, that's the 1 kilometre banner they'll be going under..'

Enjoyed the site though.

Justi

Thanks Justi - By the way....

From: Mike
Subject: The god of cycling

No-one has mentioned is ability to consume local wine/beer and off-the-track delicacies.

my only complaint is that he is a such an obvious fan of Armstrong. He does sell UK cycling better than anyone else.

By the way has anyone heard his story about fat-bottomed ladies and those without clothing for a PR shot? Is it me but are Eurosport reducing his contribution and commentary time.

Duffers isn't duff just "going off on a tangent".

Mike (Kingston/Thames)

It would be interesting to go out to dinner with him one night on the Tour. If anyone has met him in a restaurant is there any chance you can do a report for us? And does anyone reckon Russell Williams really eats that many baguettes as DD makes out?

From: Mike
Subject: Peter Farazijn

It's out of date and in dutch but go to www.geocities.com/Heartland/Prairie/9863 and click on the relevant bit.

Ciao again.

Thanks Mike. Did you send us this in a "By the way" off on a tangent tribute to DD? Its a good page isn't it and Peter Farazijn was an interesting rider.

From: Martyn
Subject: Duffers

Here is one that seems to have disappeared a bit this year in favour of "the battling ossy" The bold Stewy or anyone else that attacks and gets 10 seconds down the road. Not to mention the great ride at the Tour of Langkawi.

Indeed. And now DD can't mention the Bold Stewy without mentioning his Cobra sports car either.

From: Paul
Subject: We Love David Duffield

Love the site.
I remember reading in Cycling Weekly about David's three-wheeled exploits in the late 1950's/early 1960's, and I'm sure I met him, at least once, while on Sunday rides with the Kingston Wheelers. He would have been on his way home from a time-trial but I don't recall daring to speak to him - he was an awesome figure even then, because of his achievements and his obvious madness!
In between throwing my shoes at the television, I love the man! Long may he continue to delight and infuriate us, as he would put it (and does, many times a day), "too, as well" (i.e. also).

Paul, Surrey

Thanks Paul. Not many people contact us regarding DDs riding exploits. It would be interesting to find out more about what he was like in those days.

Thanks everyone for the emails. Please keep sending any info you might have on the great man and for those of you out there who don't like David's style of commentary then in the words of the man himself:

"If you can't stand the heat of the kitchen then don't come into it!"

Has anyone got any pictures of themselves with David? It would be great if we could display them on here, perhaps with his autograph is someone has that as well.

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From: Ben
Subject: duffers

hi addiscombe cc
i too have been a fan of the duffers stream of (un)consiousness for many years. i write a road race report for the de laune cc magazine and always give it a title from some of the phrases that he uses over and over again (these can be viewed on our web page: www.delaunecc.org). the personal favourite from this tour was him reading out the complete menu from his hotel on the 21/7/01 stage.

regards ben
de laune cc road race sec.

Gotta love those transition stages when the racing is so quiet that out comes the trusty menu from the night before. Good to see the De Laune on the web with such a good site.

From: Brian
Subject: Duffieldism

You ask for clarification of the phrase "the rough end of a ragman's trumpet".
There is a north of England working class expression of great surprise: "well f**k me with a ragman's trumpet". I'm sure that you'll see the connection .......
Hope that this helps.
An excellent website BTW.

Brian

It helps.. Too Much!

From: Phil
Subject: No Subject

The Duffers site is fantastic!
My familiarity with the Duffieldism's on the site is unnerving - obviously I'm spending far too much time watching old TDF videos on rainy Sunday's - time to get a life.
We all have our favourites, but surely his legendary condemnation of the hapless young lad who knocked Beppe Guerinni off his bike on Alpe D’Huez in 1999 must rate as the apotheosis of Dave's genius.
Remember the scene - the "yard of pump-water"-like Guerinni is riding to victory when, following a bit of a fandango go-right-go-left-go-over-the-bars, Beppe hits the floor.
Duffers: “Awwww nooooo!.....what a stupid, stupid man......if I knew that man I wouldn't want to be friends with him ever again."
Steven Roche (stifling a giggle) summed it up for all of us watching: “Well said Dave, and keeping it clean as well,"
This clip deservedly made it on to one of those bloomers-style shows on ITV.
Dave and Sean are the Eric and Ernie of sports commentary e.g:

Dave: "WhatdoyoureckonSean?Dearviewer,especiallythoseofyouswitchingonEurosportexpect
ingtoseethetennisandinsteadseeingallthesechapsonbicycles,Seanisfourtimeswinner
ofthegreenjersey, [no explanation what the green jersey is of course] AnywaySean,isDekkergoingtostayawaytotakethestageoristhebunchlyingdoggobeforego
inglicketyspit [another one!] andreelinghimin,ehSean?

Sean:
"Yes."

Mygirlfrend, who has never watched cycling in her life before, is now addicted to Eurosport. Like most neophyte viewers she is often driven to distraction by Duffers but soon she will come to understand. Cycling ain't cycling without the Man.
Full marks to Addiscombe CC for providing us with a forum to express our devotion. Surely it is about time his nuggets were immortalised in print - so to speak.

Cheers, Phil

Thanks Phil, interestingly its the wives and girlfriends that are amongst his biggest fans (and consequently send him pictures of their pussies - see Duffield Facts) and Its probably because he is always *trying* to explain what bike racing is all about. Although its normally to the disappointment of the boring know it all *expert* amateur road racers out there , some of which have now started to send me abusive Duffield mail. Can you believe it? Plonkers.

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Hot:

From: Robert, Seattle, USA
Subject: a few more duffieldisms from yanks in seattle

hello addiscombies -

we get bootlegged eurosport video over here and there's a few of us here who have come to appreciate duffieldisms as much as you. so here are a few more for your list:

"base over apex", -- going over the bars in a crash
"come a cropper" -- having the bike slip out from underneath in a crash
"going like stink" -- yet another way to say traveling at top speed

cheers, and thanks for the laughs

[robert]

Thanks Robert - how do you manage to get bootleged Eurosport over there? I bet a lot of your fellow countrymen would be very jealous if they knew. I suspect DD wants to say "Arse over tit" which is a common British saying that is a bit uncouth for family viewing hence "Base over apex". Interestingly "come a cropper" and "going like stink" are used in conversation occasionally over here but don't make it into common usage in other countries. I guess its even harder to understand DD for you than it is for us! Hopefully the Duffieldisms page can assist in your viewing pleasure.

From: Tim
Subject: duffers

I agree that the man is a living legend, even if his meandering style of broadcast journalism does cause me to curse out loud at times, usually when the pivotal moment of the race is unfolding before our eyes and he is recounting his after dinner anecdotes involving ''a rather nice glass of...''(insert any regional plonk).
Favourite duffisms have to be counting the number of times he refers to that select breed, the 'specialist climbers' whenever there is the faintest whif of an incline along the race profile. Also, after one of his frequent rambles, turning to Sean and asking 'what's your thoughts on that Sean?', the obviuosly bemused Kelly embarrisingly half whispering in reply 'well I dont really know about that, David' in a Ted from the FAST SHOW manner. Duffers, undetered carries on regardless.
great site,chaps
tim, nottingham

Excellent - especially the bit about Sean Kelly! Its interesting you point out how DD carries on regardless as I think that is what makes him so endearing to a large number of us. I know you reckon he is a living legend but I would go so far as to call him a "national treasure" and "prince of mikes". Do you think we could nominate him for an MBE or something similar? It  must be possible if enough people nominate him. Does anyone know how these things work or do you have to be in the establishment? For services to marathon broadcasting in difficult circumstances perhaps?

From: Greg
Subject: Duffieldisms

the one david duffield says often is 'a burst on the banjo' meaning, i assume, a rider is taking his turn in a share of the work. there are loads more, of which i can't think of right now but will send them when i do.
cheers,
greg

Thanks Greg, please keep thinking of them and let us have them as soon as you can.

From: Ellen "Ace"
Subject: Duffieldisms

The one that's been driving me wild this year's TdF is David's pronounciation of a certain Telecom rider. I have no idea how to pronounce Mr. Vinokurov's name, but I'll bet it isn't Voodookroff.

I was so happy to find your site--finally, someone who understands! I spend half my life watching EuroSport, and the other half ranting about EuroSport commentators (and me an American). I'd like to return the favor by pointing you towards a fun piece I wrote a couple of years ago titled "EuroSpoof" (http://www.1stserve.com/spoof.htm ). It's about tennis commentators, not cycling, but I think you might enjoy it. You are definitely my kind of people.

Ellen

Hey Ellen thats a great tennis feature (and the rest of your site is pretty good). How about turning your talents to a Duffieldspoof in the same vein as the tennis piece?

Thanks everyone for the emails. Please keep sending any info you might have on the great man and for those of you out there who don't like David's style of commentary then in the words of the man himself:

"If you can't stand the heat of the kitchen then don't come into it!"